- What do funeral directors do?
- Why have a public viewing?
- What is the purpose of embalming?
- Does a dead body have to be
embalmed, according to law?
- Isn't burial space becoming scarce?
- Is cremation a substitute for
a funeral?
- What should I do if the death
occurs in the middle of the night, on a holiday, or on the weekend?
- Will someone come right
away?
- If a loved one dies out of state, can
the Hempen Funeral Home still help?
- So, I've decided on cremation.
Can I still have a funeral or a viewing?
- Can we have a funeral with viewing
when making an anatomical gift?
- Who should be casket bearers and
honorary bearers?
- What is a eulogy or tribute?
- What is the proper dress for a
funeral?
- Who should take part in the
funeral procession?
- Should I send flowers?
- What are mass cards?
- What is a memorial donation?
- How should we express our
sympathies?
- Why are funerals so expensive?
- What recourse does a consumer have for
poor service or overcharging?
- Who pays for funerals for the
indigent?
- Is it proper for children to
attend funerals?
- Is there financial assistance
available to help pay for the cost of a funeral?
- Is there help available to deal with grief?
What do funeral directors do?
Funeral directors are caregivers and administrators. They make the
arrangements for transportation of the body, complete all necessary
paperwork, and implement the choices made by the family regarding the
funeral and final disposition of the body. Funeral directors are
listeners, advisors and supporters. They have experience assisting the
bereaved in coping with death. Funeral directors are trained to answer
questions about grief, recognize when a person is having difficulty
coping, and recommend sources of professional help. Funeral directors
also link survivors with support groups at the funeral home or in the
community.
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Why have a public viewing?
Viewing is part of many cultural and ethnic traditions. Many grief
specialists believe that viewing aids the grief process by helping the
bereaved recognize the reality of death. Viewing is encouraged for
children, as long as the process is explained and the activity
voluntary.
What is the purpose of embalming?
Embalming sanitizes and preserves the body, retards the decomposition
process, and enhances the appearance of a body disfigured by traumatic
death or illness. Embalming makes it possible to lengthen the time
between death and the final disposition, thus allowing family members
time to arrange and participate in the type of service most comforting
to them.
Does a dead body have to be embalmed,
according to law?
No. Most states, however, require embalming when death was caused by a
reportable contagious disease or when remains are to be transported from
one state to another by common carrier. Sometimes embalming may be
necessary if final disposition is not to be made within a prescribed
number of hours.
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Isn't burial space becoming scarce?
While it is true some metropolitan areas have limited available cemetery
space, in most areas of the country, there is enough space set aside for
the next 50 years without creating new cemeteries. In addition, land
available for new cemeteries is more than adequate, especially with the
increase in entombment and multi-level grave burial.
Is cremation a substitute for a
funeral?
No, cremation is an alternative to earth burial or entombment for the
body's final disposition and often follows a traditional funeral
service.
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What should I do if the death occurs
in the middle of the night, on a holiday, or on the weekend?
Hempen Funeral Home is available 24 hours a day, seven days a week.
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Will someone come right
away?
If you request immediate assistance, yes. If the family wishes to spend
a short time with the deceased to say good bye, it's acceptable. We will
come when your time is right.
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If a loved one dies out of state, can
the Hempen Funeral Home still help?
Yes, we can assist you with out-of-state arrangements, either to
transfer the remains to another state or from another state.
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So, I've decided on cremation. Can
I still have a funeral or a viewing?
Yes, quite often some sort of viewing precedes the actual cremation.
Hempen Funeral Home can assist you with the necessary information for a
funeral with a cremation following or a memorial service.
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Can we have a funeral with viewing
when making an anatomical gift?
An anatomical gift of the deceased is completed as soon after death as
possible. Formal public viewing is not available. For these reasons a
visitation and memorial service without the body present would be
appropriate. Most recipient facilities require that arrangements for the
gift be completed in advance. Most facilities do not return remains
after completion.
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Who should be casket bearers and
honorary bearers?
Friends, relatives, church members or business associates may be asked
to serve as bearers. When the deceased has been active in political,
business, church or civic circles, it may be appropriate for the family
to request close associates of the deceased to serve as honorary
bearers. Honorary bearers do not actively carry the casket.
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What is a eulogy or tribute?
A eulogy, or tribute, offer praise and commendation and reflect the life
of the person who has died. It may be given by a member of the family,
clergy, a close personal friend or a business associate.
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What is the proper dress for a funeral?
Persons attending a funeral should be dressed in good taste, to show
dignity and respect for the family and the occasion.
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Who should take part in the
funeral procession?
When the funeral ceremony and the burial are both held within the local
area, friends and relatives may accompany the family to the cemetery.
The procession is formed at the funeral home or place of worship. The
funeral director will advise participants of the procedures to follow
while driving in a funeral procession.
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Should I send flowers?
Sending a floral tribute is a very appropriate way of expressing
sympathy to the family of the deceased. Flowers express a feeling of
life and beauty and offer much comfort to the family. A floral tribute
can either be sent to the funeral home or the residence. If sent to the
residence, usually a planter or a small vase of flowers indicating a
person's continued sympathy for the family is suggested. The florist
places an identification card on the floral tribute. At the funeral home
the cards are removed from the floral tributes and given to the family
so they may acknowledge the tributes sent.
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What are mass cards?
Mass cards can be sent either by Catholic or non-Catholic friends. The
offering of prayers is a valued expression of sympathy to a Catholic
family. A card indicating that a Mass for the deceased has been arranged
may be obtained from any Catholic parish or any Hempen Funeral Home
location. The Mass offering card or envelope is given to the family as
an indication of understanding, faith and compassion. Make sure that
your name and address is legible and that you list your postal code.
This will make it easier for the family to acknowledge your gift.
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What is a memorial donation?
A memorial contribution to a specific cause or charity can be made in
lieu of sending flowers. Often the family will express a preference.
Memorial donations provide financial support for various projects which
may have been a favorite of the deceased. If recognized as a charitable
institution, some gifts may be deductible for tax purposes. Hempen
Funeral Home is familiar with them and can explain each option, as well
as furnish the donor with In Memoriam cards which are given to the
family.
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How should we express our
sympathies?
Sending a card of sympathy, even if you are only an acquaintance, is
appropriate. It means so much to the family members to know they are in
good thoughts. The card should be in good taste and in keeping with your
relationship to the family of the deceased. A personal note of sympathy
is very meaningful. Express yourself openly and sincerely. An expression
such as "I'm sorry to learn of your personal loss" is welcomed by the
family and can be kept with other messages. Speaking to a family member
by telephone or personally gives you an opportunity to offer your
services and make them feel you really care. If they wish to discuss
their recent loss, don't hesitate to talk to the person about the
deceased. Be a good listener. Your presence at the visitation
demonstrates that although someone has died, friends still remain. Your
presence is an eloquent statement that you care. Visitation provides a
time and place for friends to offer their expression of sorrow and
sympathy, rather than awkwardly approaching the subject at the office,
supermarket or social activities. Persons may call at the funeral home
at any time during visitation hours to pay respects, even if the family
is not present. Friends and relatives are requested to sign the register
book. A person's full name should be listed, and if the person is a
business associate, it is proper to list their affiliation as the family
may not be familiar with their relationship to the deceased. Friends
should use their own judgement on how long they should remain at the
funeral home or place of visitation. If they feel their presence is
needed, they should offer to stay. When the funeral service is over, the
survivors often feel very alone in dealing with their feelings. It is
important that they know you are still there. Keep in touch.
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Why are funerals so expensive?
When compared to other major life cycle events, like births and
weddings, funerals are not expensive. A wedding costs at least three
times as much; but because it is a happy event, wedding costs are rarely
criticized. A funeral home is a 24-hour, labor-intensive business, with
extensive facilities (viewing rooms, chapels, hearses, etc.), these
expenses must be factored into the cost of a funeral. Moreover, the cost
of a funeral includes not only merchandise, like caskets, but also the
services of a funeral director in making arrangements; filing
appropriate forms; dealing with doctors, ministers, florists, newspapers
and others; and seeing to all the necessary details. Contrary to popular
belief, funeral homes are largely family-owned with a modest profit
margin. Funeral costs have increased no faster than the consumer price
index for other consumer items.
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What recourse does a consumer have for poor
service or overcharging?
Funeral service is regulated by the FTC and state licensing boards. In
most cases, the consumer should discuss problems with the funeral
director first. If the dispute cannot be solved by talking with the
funeral director, the consumer may wish to contact the Funeral Service
Consumer Assistance Program. FSCAP provides information, mediates
disputes, provides arbitration, and maintains a consumer guarantee fund
for reimbursement of services rendered. (To contact FSCAP, call
708-827-6337 or 800-662-7666).
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Who pays for funerals for the
indigent?
Other than the family, there are veteran, union, and other
organizational benefits to pay for funerals, including, in certain
instances, a lump sum death payment from Social Security. In most
states, some form of public aid allowances are available from either the
state, county, or city or a combination. Most funeral directors are
aware of the various benefits and know how to obtain them for the
indigent. However, funeral directors often absorb costs above and beyond
what is provided by agencies to insure the deceased a respectable
burial.
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Is it proper for children to
attend funerals?
At a very early age, children have an awareness of and a response to
death. Children should be given the option to attend visitation and the
funeral service. The funeral director can advise you on how to assist
children at the time of a funeral and can provide you with additional
information and literature.
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Is there financial assistance
available to help pay for the cost of a funeral?
Some, if not all, of the costs associated with funeral services may be
offset by financial benefits available to survivors. We will be pleased
to assist in determining and applying for these benefits. Depending on
various circumstances, assistance may be available from the following:
Social Security; Worker's Compensation; Veteran's benefits; Company and
union benefits; Life insurance; Fraternal organizations; and
Compassionate travel policy offered by most airlines.
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Is there help available to deal with grief?
It is healthy to recognize death and discuss it realistically with
friends and relatives. When a person dies, there is grief that needs to
be shared. Expressions of sympathy and the offering of yourself to help
others following the funeral are welcomed. It is important that we share
our grief with one another. Your local funeral director can help family
and friends locate available resources and grief recovery programs in
your area. On the Web, there are several web sites that address
after-care. They are located at Resources on our web site.
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